Well gang, the United Division games this past weekend were nuts, absolute nuts… I was lucky to catch the action live and meet some of the fellas up at the watering hole. Good bunch of guys, hope they can bring in a few buddies next year so we can have 6 teams. That Jordan Campbell rookie on the Bruins, skates around like that Wayne Jetski guy. Someone stop him, good grief.

I heard over the weekend that Grand Master’s veteran Ron Cooper will be inducted into the 80+ Oldtimers Hockey Hall of Fame on March 28TH, 2026 in Kitchener! This is a remarkable accomplishment and we all congratulate him on this honour. Did you know that Ron first laced up his twirlers at the ripe age 3. He then played minor hockey in Sunderland from 1945-47, in Whitby from 1948-59, various Stelco pickup leagues from 1961-2025 and has been a mainstay in SCOHA since 1997! Details of the gala evening will be posted soon. Well done, Ron! Most of us won’t even be able to bend down to tie up our skates by the time we are 60!

United Division:

BRUINS 9 BLACKHAWKS 7: I had the under 5.5 on this game so my ticket was garbage by the halfway point of the first period. Hawks were missing 7 guys, grabbed 3 spares but fell a bit short. The Bruins, led by that Campbell kid’s 5 goals and an assist, were in a rare giving mood, allowing 7 goals but escaped with the victory. Steve Ditta good thing by scoring a pair for the winners while Dave “have” Mercer threw his hat into the ring with a goal and 2 golden delicious apples with the #511 sticker still on them. Since coming over to SCOHA from the Gatineau Nordiques back in 2008, Mercer has carved himself into a steady defenceman. His off-ice regiment and dedication to this damn game is unmatched by most. Hawks got a pair of snipes from Jonathan O’Grady in a losing cause. Hawk goalie Aaron Baxter had a contact lens issue and we hope his goalie stick survived the lumberjack swings to the crossbar. Hey, even Ken Dryden had a tough game in his career, he will be ready for the next game…

LEAFS 4 FLYERS 2: The mighty kings have fallen. I didn’t think the Flyers would lose again until maybe the new year when half of them go away on a hot vacation. Leafs didn’t only just figure out the secret behind the stuffing from Swiss Chalet’s festive special, they figured out a way to pressure the Flyers enough to beat them. They are selling VHS copies of their game film to anyone who actually still has a VHS player. John “the handle is frozen shut, I can’t open up the” Carvalho scored the eventual game winner and picked up 2 hamburger helpers for the winning side.

This game had a #4 grit sandpaper feel to it. 11 penalties were called and the timekeeper ran over to Staples for a new pen to keep up with all the calls on the game sheet. The weekly power ranking weren’t out yet at the time of this column but the Leafs had to have made a big jump. Flyers had goals from Dylan McInerney and Jeff “shepherd’s” Pye in the defeat. Flyers made it interesting with Pye’s goal with 13 ticks left on the clock but Brent Ellis lit the lamp with 2 seconds left to send the Leaf fans home happy.

Masters Division:

BRUINS 4 SHARKS 4: Alfonso Tinebra scored with 43 seconds left on the clock shorthanded as the Bruins and Sharks skated to a 4-4 tie, helping both teams in the cramped standings. Dino Guidice came to the rink ready to play. He had a goal and 2 assists to help his team earn a much-needed point. Sharks, who welcomed newcomer Mike Coppock to their lineup, had a pair of goals from “Le Legende” Dave Langille who passed Guy Carbonneau on the all-time goal scoring list. This game steamed live on the SCOHA app courtesy of Woolworth’s Department Store. Great game to watch.

SENATORS 7 LEAFS 0: Sandro Morrone played with a contact inside out so any shot on him looked like it was getting shot out of the Leaf end. When the final horn sounded, the Sens trounced the Leafs 7-0 for a big win after losing 2 straight. Marc “taco” Bellhumeur had 2 goals and an assist while Brock Hotrum had 4 assists and Marc Poulin chipped in with 1 and 1 for the winners. The Sens understood the Leafs were missing their best guy and we let them know up at the bar this was a one-ff and we know they will play us tough next time out. Scott Mlekuz turned aside 12 shots for the lightly-toasted sesame seed bagel, his second of the season.

Grand Masters Division:

STARS 3 BRUINS 3: Bruno DiGiovanni scored a highlight-reel goal with about 4 minutes left as the Stars and Bruins shook hands after a 3-3 draw. The other DiGiovanni, Robert, also hit the scoresheet recording 2 goals and adding a hooking penalty into the equation for good measure. Stars captain and GM Chris Baratto missed this game after his pre-game bowl of Scandinavian potato and cabbage goulash didn’t sit well. We wish his bathroom fan all the best for a full recovery. Bruins got snipes from Walter Domingos, Nick Polimeni and Yves Bisson, all three on expiring contracts at the end of the year so that helps their cause. Bruins John Bearisto missed this game, apparently he is helping NASA launch a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They are calling it the Apollo G

KRAKEN 7 SHARKS 2: Spare goalie Brad Ballman played with a North Face winter coat underneath his jersey and a pair of knitted Canada mittens with a hot paw packet in each but still kicked aside 13 shots as the Kraken ambushed the Sharks 7-2. Kraken coach and GM Terry Gudgeon is back, folks. He had 4 key assists as the Kraken got back on track after a tough couple games. These guys win more often than not, keep writing up the right plays. Ernie Dunston and Guy “F-5800 cordless trimmer and” Shaver had the lone Shark goals in a losing cause. Kelly Rintjema did his job to remain in the lineup with 2 goals that brough all 4 fans to their feet up in the north end balcony.

BLACKHAWKS 6 FLYERS 4: Despite missing Denis Whitwell’s offensive prowess, the Hawks still prevailed 6-4 over the Flyers. Dennis Klander, master of the 3ft. pass, scored a pair for the winning side and cemented his place in the upper tier of offensive players in this division. Dennis played the past 2 seasons in the Sudbury Iron League, an area rich with critical minerals. His pre-game ritual of chicken casserole is certainly paying off. Flyers had a pair of goals from Alastair “big mac” Kermack and one each from Ghislain Piche and Enzo Giammichele.

PREMIUM PLUS TOOL WORKHORSES OF THE WEEK:

UNITED: JORDAN CAMPBELL

MASTERS: BROCK HOTRUM

GRAND MASTERS: TERRY GUDGEON

Well that’s all from this end of the ice. Let’s get through the rest of the week without incident. No United games this weekend as a big tournament invades the arena.

Chris Marttila

SCOHA Blog Guy

Well folks, Mother Nature is about to hit shuffle on her winter playlist. Good thing we have Guy Shaver on standby with his shovel ready to clear the arena parking lot in time for this weekend’s games. A few guys still haven’t noticed their new tattoos from the big Collingwood Tournament a few weeks ago but I’m sure they will figure it out eventually. This past weekend saw the intensity ramp up in all three divisions. Let’s put aside our differences and recap the action.

Well folks, looking forward to changing the clocks back in the spring, this dark at 4:30 stuff isn’t sitting well.

Well folks, winter is here. Enough said.

Well folks, here’s a fresh new SCOHA blog out of the oven. We will recap this past weekend’s action and give props to some of our SCOHA hockey heroes whether they deserve it or not.

Well folks, this fella stayed up to watch that 18 inning marathon the other night and I was in the office the next day feeling more tired than a pair of dentures after a cold buffet but you know what, it was worth it. There were some even better games this past weekend, albeit men’s beer league but it’s our world series each and every weekend and no one can take that away from seasoned veterans like Mike Vanderzee and Al Angelone who are both approaching important milestones in their careers for games played by players with cement hands...

A few games over the weekend started to get a bit salty. You almost needed a moose to lick the salt off. All in all, you can tell the action is ramping up as we approach the end of October. United teams are starting to gel and the games are getting faster. Flyers team rep Mike Haslam was spotted applying Rub A5/35 the other week but claimed it is his new hockey cologne, knees are fine. Hattrick by Faberge, available at Shoppers, 8 bucks. Speaking of hat trick, this new Jordan Campbell kid in United is lighting the lamp multiple times every Friday, reminds me of Sean Riley when he played for the Lethbridge Bonnets back in 81. Campbell is an early favourite for Rookie of the Year. We will try and get him on the Pucks in Deep Podcast soon…

Last week’s games were a complete 180 degree turn-around from the previous week, lemme tell ya. United’s Walt Blagdon was skating around like he had motors on his skates. I don’t know what this guy has for a pre-game meal but I bet it’s rich in essential minerals. At any rate, let’s dip into the weekend that was…

Well folks... cold season is in full swing at this fellas house. Throat feels like i swallowed a wool sweater but there's deadlines to meet. Let's dive into last weeks action.

Elbow’s up, fellas, it’s the season premiere of this silly blog. This year, we welcome the Grand Masters Kraken as a team. What’s a Kraken? No, it’s not the view you get when the plumber is bent over trying to unclog the kitchen sink.

A Kraken is a legendary sea monster of enormous size, per its etymology something akin to a cephalopod, said to appear in the Norwegian Sea off the coast of Norway. Ya… just as I thought.