Well folks, better late than never, here is the recap from last weeks action from Scohaville, thanks for your attention in this matter.

United Division:

Bruins 6 Flyers 4: This new kid on the block, Jadon Aguanno manueuvers around like an iguana (but real fast). Jadon had quite the game, scoring a hatty along with Justin Mol's 2 goals as the Bruins got past the Flyers 6-4. This Bruin team is like the 96' Bulls. Unstoppable. The fellas in orange got goals from Mike Rostecki, Dylan McInerney (of course), Adam Briggs and rookie Paul Andrews. Flyers gm Mike Haslam dusted off his Betamax to go over some game film after this one to see where the wheels became disengaged from the wagon's main chassis.

Leafs 6 Blackhawks 2: Matt "window" Sills and Nick Grivich both dropped a deuce as the Leafs folded up the Hawks like a Dundas street map 6-2. Derek "the Napoleon" Napoli also added a 5-star snipe for the winning side while Andrew Howarth and Mike "throwback" Troback replied for the Hawks. Leafs netminder Peter "what else is" Denew made 19 saves for the W. Back to Andrew Howarth if you have an extra minute: Andrew practiced his shot all summer in an empty swimming pool. Sure he could've dug out his skateboard from the attic instead but no, he wanted to work on his wristshot. The whole damn league has noticed his improvement and he will continue to get more attention as the season goes on.

Masters Division:

Leafs 2 Sharks 2: Sharks Marc Ayotte, who happened to be the Mattress World Sleeper Pick of the Week, scored a pair as his Sharks tied the Leafs 2-2. Both "Bosses of the Braided Bungalows" played extremely well in their teams' respective net. Jeff Clarke and Bruno Santanato made a combined 46 saves in this one. Mo Cecca and rookie sensation Francois "ju-jube" Jubinville scored for the Leafs. Side note: red, orange then green are the best ju-jube flavours in order, not up for debate.

Bruins 5 Senators 3: Bruins Al Herron puts cheddar sun chips in his sandwiches for added core muscle strength just so you know. Herron posted his 12th career hat trick as the Bruins beat the Senators 5-3. Steve "double" Ecker and Richard Forster also scored for the winners. Forster left the game around the midway point after a mid-air collision with the end dasher boards. As of press time, he was listed as day-to-day with shoulder tenderitis. Senators got goals from Warren DeForest and that Chris Marttila guy with a pair (including his 2nd bank shot off goalies' leg goals from the corner in recent weeks). Sens welcome back their fearless netminder Darren O'Brien next game after a 2 game vacay in Scotland. Watch out for these guys, it's a long season. Hope he had a smashin' time!

Grand Masters Division:

Flyers 3 Blackhawks 1: Great game this scrappy Flyers team played, refusing to give up. Ghislain "touchee" Piche guzzled a can of Jolt Cola before the game, his skates felt good and he scored a hatty as his Flyers got off the shneid with a convincing 3-1 win over the Blackhawks. Hawks top prospect and all around nice guy Andre Vasilisin had the lone goal for his team, down right Silly goal. Andre has an unlimited ceiling to his game, slicker than beard butter with the puck and an unexhausting skating style admired by many around the league. Worth the price of admission.

Stars 2 Bruins 1: *upset alert*... Steve MacDonald scored the winner (ee-eye, ee-eye oh). When the final buzzer sounded, the Stars edged the Bruins 2-1. B's were missing Terry Hughes with an upper body injury after he swallowed a scrabble tile. No word on his return. John Annibale jammed home the lone Bruin goal.

Sharks 4 Kraken 2: Sharks gm/coach/player/accountant/team bus driver Ron Cooper revarnished his team's game glan and it seems to be working. Guy "Remington F5800 3-blade" Shaver (with interupt technology) scored the game winner for a hungry Shark team looking for more answers to their game. Never short of gathering upstairs for some pizza and ales whether they win or lose, this Shark club is the benchmark of a true SCOHA team. Incidentally, Shaver was caught winking his eye toward the crowd during warmup but he later revealed he accidentally had a contact lens on inside out. Kraken had goals from sharp shooter Mike Archer and Walter "cheese stuffed medium pepperoni deluxe " Domingos.

Premium Plus Tool Players of the Week:

United: Jadon Aguanno

Masters: Al Herron

Grand Masters: Guy Shaver

Have a great week everyone. A few of us welcomed the week off to rest some ailments, looking forward to getting back at it. Hope the Collingwood tournament went well for those who represented SCOHA. Full player stat update coming this week.

Chris Marttila

SCOHA Blog and stat guy

Well folks, the small Coffee Crisp ones are still the best chocolate bars from that mixed box, not up for discussion.

Ok, maybe the fans are not coming out in droves but at least some are coming out to watch our games. With illnesses and minor injuries starting to circulate amongst teams, the next guy must step up. We all know what we have to do.

Well folks, this week’s scribe will be a bit shorter as this fella deals with an eye infection that I didn’t see coming. Going to skip the small talk and get right to it. By the way, whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, you will be found. You have my Word…

Welcome back for another season, folks! We lifted the lid on the 84th season this past weekend and welcomed over 30 new players to the league! Arena corridors reeked of knee ointments all night, was good to be back.. Remember, this blog only goes by what’s on the game sheets. No emailing me saying you scored 3 instead of 2.

Well folks, here's a peeled back edition of everyone's favourite blog before we start eating more vegetables and rolled oats to shave down the 18lbs gained over the summer. For those filling my inbox asking when the draft will be, the answer is Sept.17 for United and Sept.21 for Masters and Grand Masters.

Bill "food grade aluminum" Foley has signed a lucrative deal to become the new GM and owner of Masters Sharks. Bill spent the better part of 6 seasons as a 4th line grinder for the Nipigon Elks before making the leap to Scoha. while Mike Vanderzee negotiated a deal to take over as Grand Masters Stars rep with an option for a 2nd year depending on the team's performance and if his team decides to listen to him. Mike brings a steady diet of skill and exuberance from his days as a gristed winger for the Lethbridge Bonnets of the now defunct Alberta Iron League.

Overall, we have a bunch of new Scohaiians joining the league. A revamped marketing plan and word of mouth spearheaded the mass recruitment which will more than offset some players that jumped ship to other leagues. We thank those players leaving for their time in Scoha and hope to cross paths again down the road.

Last i heard, United is full and there are only a few spots open for Masters and Grand Masters. Spread the word if you know of any players that haven't registered yet or want to join. Team reps have already started building their spreadsheets for the draft, should be another exciting year! Enjoy the last bit of summer and see you all soon.

Chris Marttila

Blog guy